MIXED UP

I am searching but I cannot find./

I am thinking with no brain so I can’t seem to make up my mind,/ coz this love makes me blind./

I am looking but I have no eyes so I can’t see/

But I can see your eyes staring at me/ so I know that you know that I am not free./

I am listening but I cannot hear./

There  is a disturbing beat beating around here./ My heart beats so loud it sounds like fear./

I am talking without a tongue so I can’t speak./

Am miming my moods but now am feeling weak./ Am trying to get rid of these feelings but on me they stick./

I am breathing but there’s no air./

I am dying but you don’t care./ You just sit there/ and stare/ and when our eyes meet you pretend to be looking somewhere/…else.

So now I cry/ with no tears so am dry./

I don’t have the confidence to approach you so I lie/ to myself that I’d rather die/ than come over and say ‘Hi!’/

Now am scheming with no plan./

It’s like campaigning without a slogan./ And yet I insist to myself that yes, I can./

Am walking towards you but I can’t feel my legs so I can’t move./

I can feel my heart dance with excitement but I cannot feel the grove./ I am… confused!/

I am laughing at myself with no laughter so am sad/

Coz now you are walking away and I haven’t said a word./

I regret, I wish I had/ but now it’s too late…it’s too bad./

I give up and try to obstruct myself by getting things to do./

But my life changed when you left. It’s not normal, not what am used to./

So now I am depressed… I take an overdose, I slit my wrist, I jump off a building. I try to kill myself but I cannot die coz I have no LIFE…without you./